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World, Mostly Turning
Even in the darkness, every colour can be found
Main character(s) and/or pairing indicated in parentheses after the title.


Wish You Were Here (Spuffy) (WIP), BtVS post-Not Fade Away, Rated PG-13. Angel brings Buffy some bad news in Rome, and Buffy accidentally changes the world.

Death’s Second Self (Spuffy) (complete), BtVS S5 post-The Gift, 5539 words, Rated R. Warnings: sex, violence, character death. Spike goes patrolling after Buffy's death in The Gift and meets someone he really wasn't expecting to see.


Evanesco (Lorne), AtS post-Not Fade Away, Rated G, 1666 words. The last person Lorne wants to see finds him in his new bar months after the events of Not Fade Away. I still think this is my best fic.

All Set Down (Giles), BtVS S5, during and after The Gift, Rated R, 3300 words. Warnings: Violence and character death. An alternate ending to The Gift.

Waiting For You (Willow), BtVS post-Chosen, Rated G, 1609 words. Willow reflects on her life many years after Chosen.

Balm (Spike), BtVS S5 post-The Gift, Rated PG, 2411 words. Spike tries to deal with Buffy's death after The Gift.

Line of Scrimmage (Scooby Gang), BtVS Season 2ish, Rated G for goop, 1148 words. A bit of old-school silliness.

Unrequited (Spike), BtVS mid-S5, Rated S for schmoop. Spike lurks under his usual tree, waiting for a glimpse of his slayer.

Wolf’s Bane (Oz), BtVS S4 post-Doomed, Rated PG, 4443 words. Oz needs to find a way to deal with his werewolf side.

Pier Group (Scooby Gang), BtVS S3 post-Band Candy, Rated PG, 3432 words. The Scooby Gang spends a day at The Pier. A missing scene from BtVS S3. This was my first fic. It's not terribly good.


Different people seem to define drabbles in different ways. For me, drabbles are fics that are exactly 100 words long. I wrote a fair number of them. I think some of them are kinda clever. Your mileage may vary. You can find them all here.
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Writing exposition so that it doesn't sound expositiony is hard.

Just sayin'.
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I've always been a big fan of Party of Five. Yes, yes, I know--it was a syrupy, weepy, angst-ridden melodrama, but I loved it anyway. Back in the day, it was my don't-miss show of the week, and every single episode made me cry. I'd set myself up on the couch with a big box of tissues and snuffle like mad, and it was just so darn cleansing. My favourite characters were Bailey and Griffin.

Last weekend, Jim and I watched Dazed and Confused on the big screen at the local independent theatre. If you've never seen it, it's the 1970s answer to American Graffiti. I'd seen it once before, not long after it came out, and thoroughly enjoyed it because I remember the 1970s more or less that way. The movie isn't quite my high school experience because I'm a titch too young (boy, I don't get to say that very often anymore...), but I think it's a pretty accurate depiction of my friend's older sister's life at the time. It's a fun film, and I'm still amazed at how many of the 1970's idiosyncrasies it gets right. I never did it myself, but I knew someone who used to zip up her skin-tight jeans using pliers. :-D

Anyway, I spent the first 20 minutes of the movie staring at Pink, the lead male character, and trying to figure out who the actor was. He was the younger version of someone I'd watched often, but I couldn't place him. I finally leaned over and whispered to Jim, "OMG, it's Griffin from Party of Five!!!"--which pleased me and confused him, since he'd never seen the show. Then I watched another scene and wasn't so sure anymore, and then another where I was, lather, rinse, repeat. Sometimes Pink was a dead ringer for a young Griffin, and sometimes something was just... off.

When the credits rolled at the end of the film, I didn't recognize the actor's name. Except... I sort of did. And then it finally clicked: Griffin was played by Jeremy London, and Jeremy has a twin brother named Jason, who played Pink. They're identical twins, but not entirely identical in the way that identical twins aren't. Mystery solved.

It's the first time I've watched a movie wherein the lead role was played by a doppelganger. ;-)


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I'm not entirely loving S7 of Supernatural. I'm nearing the end now, and it's picking up somewhat, but I found the first half pretty flat. The whole Castiel-is-your-new-god thing was kind of fun, but it fizzled out pretty quick and then they killed him. Leviathans aren't really grabbing as the new Big Bad either. I always found the black eyes they gave demons pretty creepy, but the big mouths of Leviathans? Just too comical to take seriously.

I am loving the parade of guest stars from other series, though: Jewel Staite, James Marsters, Charisma Carpenter, Michael Hogan, Harry Groening, Felicia Day--what a hoot.

I was sad that they offed Bobby, but I'm kind of loving him as a ghost.

Is it just me, or does Dick Roman's plan for feeding people food that makes them calm and compliant, except for the occasional person who goes the other way and becomes a pyschopath instead, seem a bit like a rewrite of Serenity?


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I'm a bit astonished that so many of y'all remember who I am. Sometimes I'm not even sure. The last five years have been a bit of a slog in a lot of ways, but things are on the mend. I'll post about it sometime, but not now. I'm kind of basking in renewed fanfic pleasure and don't want to think about it.

Thank you all for the very kind welcome backs and the nice comments on my chapter. I wasn't sure anyone would read it--I've been gone for so long that I thought Buffy fandom might have shriveled up and died in the meantime.

I had a sudden urge to rewatch AtS in its entirety in December, so I did. It had been a long time, so it was pretty much like watching a brand-new series. You know what? Season 4 still doesn't make any sense.

I've spent most of the day attacking my other WIP with astonishing vigour, and I remember now why I'd abandoned it. Chapter 5 is a bitch. My brain is leaking out my ears, and I still haven't made it right.

Time for dinner and a Supernatural episode. I seem to have given up live TV and watch everything on DVD now, so I'm only halfway through Season 7. I must ask: who's bright idea was it to off Castiel and Bobby?? Grrrrrrrr.
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Contrary to persistent rumours, I am not dead. This journal is pretty close to it, though. Is anyone out there still reading this thing?


Yeah, that's what I thought.

Nevertheless, in an attempt to revive my long-dormant writing skills, I have finished a WIP: the third and last chapter of Death's Second Self has been posted, back-dated by six!OMG years so that it sits next to the first two chapters. (Six years! How did that happen?)

Anyone who read the first two installments has undoubtedly forgotten what happened in them (I know I had), so clicking on this will deliver you to all three: Death's Second Self

I'm feeling all motivated now. Maybe I'll finish another one someday.
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Scene from Future Shop today:

[Kristina approaches counter with The Borgias S1 and Castle S1 DVDs in hand.]

Clerk: (pointing at The Borgias) How do you pronounce that?

Kristina: I don't actually know. I haven't watched it yet. But I've heard that it's good, and it stars Jeremy Irons...

[Clerk actually flutters hand over heart at the mention of Jeremy Irons' name. Kristina loves him for that. :-D]

Kristina: ...and Colm Feore. How bad can it be??

Clerk (gesturing at Castle): I haven't seen this either.

Kristina: Me neither. But again, I've heard that it's good, and it stars Nathan Fillion. Like I said, how bad can it be???

Clerk: You have great taste in actors.


Also? François Arnaud is HOT!!!

Jeremy Irons, Colm Feore, Nathan Fillion, François Arnaud... be still my own fluttering heart.

::fans self::
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Oh. My. Castiel...

(Who was also a very entertaining guest star on Nip/Tuck.)

Yeah, I'm a little behind. Just finished S6.

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There was an uncredited character in the first episode of House S8 that SO WAS SUCRE FROM PRISON BREAK. It's right near the end, in the brawl in what looked like the cafeteria. The bald, tanned guy wearing the undershirt. SUCRE. I'm telling you.

Don't know if it was the same actor (see the uncredited reference), but it sure looked like him.

The parallel may have been accidental, but who knows? Stranger things have happened on TV.

Or maybe it's just me. ::shrugs::

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No. No! NO!!!

Okay, I'm behind the times. I just finished watching House S7 on DVD. Don't ask why. Okay, you can if you want to. It's just not relevant to the rest of this post.

I also just finished watching the various bonus features on the DVD set, like "Huddy Dissected."

And my response to it is this: No. No! NO!!!!!!

Huddy was NOT doomed to failure from the beginning. It DIDN'T have to end as it did (although I think House driving his car through front of Cuddy's house was (for him) a major breakthrough). Yes, he drove her up the wall and back down the other side, but you know what else I think???

Most of it was HER fault. She should never have broken up with him, despite what the writers say.

Why? Because Cuddy KNEW how damaged House was when she began their relationship. She knew what she was getting into, she acknowledged it, and then she expected him to act like regular-guy boyfriend. That is UNFAIR.

NO ONE deals well with a cancer scare. NO ONE. Least of all House. Sure, he felt that he had to resort to Vicodin in order to be there and come through for Cuddy, but that speaks to his depth of feeling for her, AND it's an admittedly somewhat twisted admission on his part that he's not the person he'd like to be for her. For a months-old relationship to someone as broken as House, coming through in the end even with drug use is a VERY BIG DEAL. And yet, instead, Cuddy sees it as a failure.

In just the episode before, House gets wildly drunk, shows up on Cuddy's doorstep, and tells her point blank that if he has to choose between being the best doctor possible or loving her, he will always choose her. DOES NO ONE SEE WHAT A HUGE DEAL THAT IS???

House is someone who has always taken refuge in his intelligence, his pride of intellect, his escapism into solving medical puzzles that no one else can--ferhevvinssakes, immersing himself in intellectual pursuits relieves him of acute physical pain!--and he is willing to let go his stranglehold of that for love of her. Without, I might add, her even asking for such a thing. He searched inside himself, and this is what he discovered.

Is there such a thing as deeper love than this? He is willing to let go of that which has sustained him for so many years for love of her. What greater thing could she possibly ask???

When Cuddy breaks up with House, you can see the terror in his eyes and hear the fear in his voice. There is nothing he wouldn't do for her. No part of himself that he would not give.

Yes, he struggled with the cancer scare. WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T??? No, he didn't deal with it as best he could have, but he found a way--however wrong--to come through for her in the end.

These things are hard. This is new territory for emotionally deficient House. But he did as well as he could at the time. Perhaps it wasn't enough for her and her impossibly idealized vision of her life partner, but House tried and did the best that he could. If she'd sat down and talked to him and embraced what he did do instead of rejecting him on the basis of what he didn't or couldn't do, it would have helped him grow and cope better the next time. He's a human being. He needs time and chances to learn.

Cuddy's mother wants them back together. Cuddy's daughter wants them back together. Cuddy heard what he said when he was drunk and nakedly open and vulnerable: "I will always choose you." Honestly, what more could she want than that???

House is no saint. He's a deeply flawed, emotionally stunted character. But he understands love instinctually, and he was striving towards the fulfillment of the responsibilities and obligations of his relationship with Cuddy. He didn't choose the right path, but he was trying. He would have done better the next time, and the time after that, but Cuddy never gave him that chance.

How do I know this? Because I live with a sort-of House and have done for a long time. He and House are vastly different in almost every way, but they share some of the same emotional roadblocks. I know--I know--Jim's depth of love for and loyalty to me. He's sometimes a jerk, sometimes insensitive, almost always a dork, and strong emotions (especially his own) make him crumble into little bits. But he's learning. He's had to, because I suffer from depression, and the last several years would have tested any man. He doesn't get it right every time, and he certainly screwed up BIG the first few times, but he's getting it. Dear and good-hearted man, he's come through when it counts, even if not always in quite the way that I expected or hoped.

I've no idea how much this has been debated on LJ because I'm so terribly out of the loop, but my convictions w.r.t. a television show have never run deeper.

House screwed up because that is what he does, just like Jim. But in the end, he's there, and for all the right reasons.

Cuddy abandoned their nascent relationship because of her own wildly unrealistic expectations. She knew his limitations, and she said she loved him anyway. And then she dumped him at the first sign of trouble.

Shame on you, Cuddy. However, it was a completely human and not an unrealistic response, and you can still make things right, if the writers allow you to do so. I hope they do.



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Just watched a House episode from last season with guest star Chris Marquette and regular Amber Tamblyn. I realize that this probably means nothing to anyone except me, but Amber was Joan of Arcadia and Chris was her high school sweetheart, the absolutely wonderful Adam Rove.

IMDb says that "the touching and thunderous silences between Adam and Joan created and stirred the kind of romance every girl and many grown women long for."

They are so right. <3 Adam Rove <3

Is there such a thing as Adam/Joan fanfic??


(Yes, yes, yes, first post in freaking YEARS. I know....)

I need flurblewig. ::gasps::

::dies some more::


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"You should have seen Luke."


Why, yes, I have started watching Supernatural. I'm up to the start of S5 now, which means I can read thenyxie fics. This is good.

I don't seem to watch "live" TV anymore. Time slots kept jumping around, and I'd lose episodes of shows that I wanted to watch, and I'm a stickler for seeing them in order. Sometime last winter, I gave up taping things altogether and just starting buying box sets. It was less frustrating in that I'd get to watch every episode, in order, whenever I felt like it, but more so because the series I really liked got cancelled after two seasons (Dead Like Me, Carnivale <-- OMG, what sadist TV exec cut that one off???), never had more than two seasons (Life on Mars), didn't release their latest seasons until right around the time that the next one was starting (House, The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Dollhouse, Dexter), or just took FOREVER to release anything at all (is S2 of True Blood out YET?).

So then I started in on longer series that started (and possibly ended) sometime ago (Prison Break, Supernatural). I even went looking for fanfic for a couple (mostly flurblewig's Prison Break and Life on Mars fics). Does Carnivale fic even exist? Did anyone pick up the story and carry on? Please let the answer be yes...

I couldn't decide for the longest time if I was a Sam-girl or a Dean-girl, and then I decided that I didn't have to choose: I'll take both. At once. Thankyouverymuch.

Anyone still read this dead LJ?


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Ho, Ho... Whatever


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Another political comment from my Dad. He doesn't like Harper either. This is by Bruce MacKinnon.

Bruce MacKinnon Cartoon - GG Meets PM


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So, we're watching House taped from Monday night, and there's the tense hostage situation, and 13 won't stab herself with the needle, and the sick guy grabs it and stabs himself, and there's a big explosion as the SWAT team breaks into the lab... and then there's a blue screen because something went wrong with the cable transmission.


For the love of mercy, what happened next?

Current Mood: aggravated aggravated

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Sent to me by my Dad, of course. He loathes Bush.

Obama’s Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy
Stunning Break with Last Eight Years

In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS' "Sixty Minutes" on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.

But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.

According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.

"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate - we get it, stop showing off."

The President-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska: "Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what America is all about..."

Current Mood: amused amused

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I still hab a code. Ids in my head. I cand breed. ::snuffles::

Buy stock in Kleenex. Srsly. I am going to single-handedly solve the global economic crisis via massive consumption of tissues.


Current Mood: crappy congested

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Stolen from desdemonaspace:

Post 10 things that are going right in your life right now. I don't care how small. You're happy with your cup of coffee. You saw a flock of geese flying over. ANYTHING. Things that make you happy. Things that make you smile. No pressure.

It's small and it's simplistic, but maybe for the time you are compiling your list, you'll forget about the bad going on and focus on something good.

1. I'm 45. Which is better than not having reached the age of 45.

2. I had a surprise phone call from GJ this morning. That warmed the cockles of my heart. After all this time and distance, we are still friends.

3. My colleagues decorated my cubicle with streamers and balloons for my birthday. They also made signs with pictures of Tollers, Guelph Gryphon football players, and Scotch, which I learned to drink at our section retreat this time last year. Hee--they are getting to know me well.

4. It is very warm and sunny outside. In NOVEMBER!

5. Bella. She is my sunshine even when it's dark and snowy.

6. Jim brought a bouquet of flowers home for me yesterday.

7. My father is in England and has bought me a Manchester United cap as a souvenir. 'Cause they're Spike's team.

8. I had a great dream the other night. I was being wooed by both Alan Tudyk and Adam Baldwin. In the end, I succumbed to Alan because I didn't want to break up Adam's marriage. I am honourable even in my sleep!

9. I spent last weekend reconnecting with female family members at Skate Canada. I love watching live figure skating competitions with them. Plus: athletic, fit, young men in tights! ::drools in a creepy middle-aged way::

10. Barack Obama!

Current Mood: happy happy

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The great thing about birthdays is the sometimes surprising phone calls you get. I just spent half an hour talking to a friend in the Netherlands that I haven't spoken to for at least a year and haven't seen in about five years.

Made my day, it did.

Thanks, GJ. :-)

Current Mood: touched touched

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That's just... neat.

Current Mood: pleased pleased

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