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World, Mostly Turning - Death's Second Self, Part 3 of 3
Even in the darkness, every colour can be found
desoto_hia873
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Death's Second Self, Part 3 of 3
Title: Death's Second Self, Part 3 of 3
Setting: BtVS S5, post-The Gift
Word count: 2197 (this part)
Rating: PG-13
Written for adecadeofbuffy.
Disclaimer: Joss likes fanfic. He said so.

Hugs and smooches to flurblewig for making this better than it was.



“Buffy?”

Dawn’s timid voice penetrated the drowsy murk in which Spike was comfortably immersed and roused him to semi-consciousness. He opened his eyes with effort and reached for Buffy, who was sleeping next to him.

And found empty space.

He bolted upright, pulling the blanket from their makeshift bed about him and looking around in bewilderment. No Buffy. He glanced towards the window—it was still dark outside, but the softening hues of the sky indicated that sunrise wasn’t far off. Buffy must have woken and scarpered off to hunt; he’d been so deeply and post-coitally asleep that he hadn’t heard her leave.

“Spike?” Dawn crept a few more paces into the crypt, looking apprehensive. “Buffy?”

“Shouldn’t be out at this hour, Bit.” Spike reached for a nearby pair of jeans and slipped them on, then turned to Dawn with a frown. “You know better than that—no telling what sort of monster you might run into.”

“I know, but I heard... they said...” Dawn’s voice faded into a strangled sob. Her face was puffy and blotchy from recent tears, and she shivered in her pyjamas and bare feet, looking small and frail. Spike picked up the discarded blanket and draped it over her shoulders. Willow had been right about her losing weight—she looked like she’d topple under the force of a light breeze.

“I... I couldn’t sleep, so I got up for a glass of milk, and I heard Willow and Xander talking to Giles. They said... they said they saw Buffy while they were on patrol, that she was...” she gulped, unable to finish the sentence. “They said you’d gone looking for her. Is she here?” She raised her eyes to his; the hope in them made his heart ache. “Please—please tell me she’s okay.”

Spike sat her down on the sarcophagus and pulled the blanket tighter around her.

“Steady now, pet. Everything’s going to be all right.” He rubbed her back, trying to generate some warmth and stop her shivering. Christ, it hurt seeing her like this. “I found her. She was here earlier. Don’t know where she’s gone, but I’m sure— ”

They both jumped as the door slammed behind them.

“She’ll be back.” They turned to see Buffy smirking at them in her human face, her lips unnaturally red even in the candlelight. Dawn’s eyes widened; she made an indistinct noise in her throat and pressed herself against Spike.

“All that—” Buffy shot an appreciative glance towards Spike’s naked chest, “—exercise made me hungry. I went out to get a bite to eat.” She licked a few stray spots of blood off her fingers. “Not much to choose from, this time of night, but it filled a hole.”

“B-Buffy?” Dawn shot an anxious look at Spike. “Are you... Spike, is she...?”

“She’s, well, not quite the same, but she’s still Buffy, pet.”

“Dawnie,” Buffy cut in smoothly, moving towards Dawn with her arms outstretched. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” Her smile broadened, and she pulled Dawn away from Spike, off the sarcophagus, and into an embrace. “I know I’m very glad to see you.”

Dawn stood stiffly inside the circle of Buffy’s arms. She looked up at Spike over Buffy’s shoulder, relief and unease playing across her features in equal measures. Spike gave her an encouraging smile.

“There, there, Dawnie,” Buffy crooned. She stroked Dawn’s hair as she always had and leaned her cheek against the top of her head. “Don’t worry so much...”

She drew back, ran her fingertips lightly across Dawn’s cheek, and tugged the blanket down a little.

“...it’ll only hurt for a second.” Her face changed and she plunged towards Dawn’s neck.

“Buffy, no!” Spike grabbed her by the shoulders and jerked her away. Dawn reeled backwards against the sarcophagus. “What do you think you’re doing? This is Dawn.”

“I know who she is,” Buffy grumbled, twisting out of his grasp. “What am I, blind? I told you there wasn’t much to eat this time of night. That little old lady walking her schnauzer didn’t even come close to filling me up.”

She eyed Dawn hungrily and licked her lips. Dawn whimpered; her knees gave out, and she and her blanket slithered into a downy heap on the floor.

“Buffy,” Spike pleaded, stepping between them. “I know you’re hungry, know you’ve got to eat, but... but... It’s Dawn. She’s your sister. You love her. More than anything. You died to protect her.”

“Well, then,” Buffy said, shrugging, “she owes me, doesn’t she?” She tried to dart around Spike, but he caught her and shoved her back again. Dawn disentangled herself from the blanket, scrabbled backwards, and crouched, cowering, behind the sarcophagus, her eyes huge and fearful.

“Buffy, luv, please,” Spike begged. This couldn’t be happening. Vampires and humans, not generally the best of friends, but... this was Dawn. Buffy wouldn’t hurt Dawn. Dawn was everything to her. Hadn’t she made him swear to protect her? “Buffy, you don’t want to do this.”

Buffy eyed Spike thoughtfully. She let her human face reappear, leaned against the crypt wall, and began picking at her nails. “You’re right, Spike, I don't. It was just a joke—I didn’t think Dawnie’d take it so badly.” She gestured in exasperation. “I thought you’d at least get that I was kidding. Sheesh—what do you take me for?” She shot him an accusing look and then returned her attention to her nails.

Spike relaxed and ran his fingers through his hair. Just a joke, then. That was okay—not surprising that a new sense of humour was part of the package.

“Hear that, Bit? She didn’t mean it. Told you everything’d be all right.” He reached for a t-shirt flung over the back of his armchair. “But, Christ, luv, you gave me a turn. Gotta give us some time to get used to the new you.” He pulled the t-shirt over his head, still talking. “There are some things that you just can’t—”

Dawn’s shriek cut him off in mid-sentence. Yanking the shirt down, he saw that Buffy was no longer in front of him—she’d taken advantage of his moment of inattention to grab Dawn and pin her against the wall behind the sarcophagus. Her head was lowered to Dawn’s neck. Dawn sagged in Buffy’s arms, her eyes half-closed and her face growing paler by the second.

With a roar, Spike sprang towards the sarcophagus and cleared it in a single leap. He threw out his arm as he landed; combined with the momentum from his jump, it was enough to knock Buffy several feet away. Spike caught Dawn as she fell and lowered her gently to the floor.

He pressed her hand over the wound in her neck. “Keep your hand there and push down, hear? You have to stop the bleeding.” Dawn’s eyes were unfocussed, but she nodded and did as he said.

He turned to Buffy, who was sprawled on the floor, fingering a new lump on the side of her head, and licking Dawn’s blood from her teeth. Her hair tumbled wildly around her face, giving her a feral appearance.

“What’s the matter, Spikey? Want to keep her all to yourself? Can’t say that I blame you—she is a sweet young thing. But—” She sprang to her feet with feline grace and connected a kick to Spike’s head that sent him hurtling into the corner of the sarcophagus. “—you can’t have her. She’s mine.”

The impact left Spike dazed. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it, grabbed the corner of the tomb, and staggered upright, still between Buffy and Dawn.

“I knew fresh blood was good, but blood spiced with fear—that kind of fear—is fucking amazing.” Buffy leaped forward and kicked out at him again. Her foot hit his ribcage with an audible crack, and he stumbled backwards, tripping over and flattening a spindly side table next to his armchair as he fell.

“I’d offer to share her with you, but, well, not really in the mood. I want it all.”

Buffy turned back to face Dawn. Dawn tried to push herself upright and took a few wobbly steps towards the door, blood trickling through the fingers pressed against her neck. “Buffy, please, no, Buffy, it’s me. It’s me. Buffy, please, I love you, don’t do this!”

Ignoring the painful grating of broken ribs, Spike heaved himself up from the floor and tackled Buffy from behind, wrenching her away from Dawn. They skidded across the floor and ended in a tangled heap with Dawn safely out of reach. For now. Buffy swore and struggled to loosen Spike’s grip on her legs. She was even stronger as a vampire than she had been in life as a slayer—he wasn’t going to be able to keep her away from Dawn much longer.

“Give me a break here, lover. What’s one little girl to you? It’s not like you haven’t killed a hundred of them yourself.” Buffy twisted around and kneed Spike in the chin, breaking his grasp and scrambling to her feet. Spike stretched forwards—fuck, that hurt his ribs—swiped at her ankles and brought her crashing to the floor again.

“This one’s different,” he snarled, throwing his weight onto her legs. “It’s Dawn. No one hurts her. Understand?”

“Of course I know she’s different.” Buffy laughed. “The fact that she’s my sister? That’s the best part! Killing gardeners and wrinkly old biddies walking their dogs—not without its appeal, I’ll admit. But going after Dawn? That’s where the real fun is. I mean, c’mon—just look at her.”

Spike looked. Dawn’s face was slack and wet with tears, the expression in her eyes a mixture of shock, anguish, and terror. She was breathing in short, ragged gasps, and the scent of her fear was overpowering. It wasn’t so long ago that he’d have revelled in her suffering and found her torment an aphrodisiac. But—and a part of him staggered at the realization that there was a ‘but’ to be had here at all—it didn’t work for him anymore. At least not with Dawn. Never with Dawn.

“I finally get why vampires go after those who were closest to them first,” Buffy continued. “Strangers, they’re scared, yeah, but you just can’t get that—” she gestured towards Dawn with her chin, “—unless they loved you before. I bet you did the same thing to your family, didn’t you?”

Spike froze. An old wound deep inside opened up, and he flinched with remembered pain. He looked at Buffy’s distorted face and saw another one, just as beloved and similarly misshapen, in its place; heard again the jeering, pitiless taunts in a voice that had once been tender and kind. He pressed his forehead against the cold stone floor, closed his eyes, and felt a fool. History damn well had a way of repeating itself. And he’d nearly gotten Dawn killed before seeing it.

Buffy wriggled one of her legs free, kicked out at him, rolled away, and sprang to her feet. In a trice, she covered the short distance between her and Dawn and stood behind her, holding the younger girl in a headlock. Spike climbed to his feet and approached them slowly, sliding one hand along the wall.

“Stay away, Spike,” Buffy warned, dragging Dawn backwards with her, “I’ll snap her neck before you—”

His fingers found the door’s handle and he yanked it towards him. The door flew open, bathing the two girls in the light of rising sun. Buffy shrieked and released Dawn in her haste to get away from the burning rays. Dawn crumpled to the floor.

Spike charged through the sunbeam and caught Buffy, twisting her arm up behind her back and pinning her to the wall. He turned his head to the younger girl. “Dawn. Go. Now. Get your neck tended to." His voice was hoarse with renewed grief. “Go. Don’t look back.” Dawn nodded, pushed herself up, and stumbled out the door.

Spike took tighter hold of Buffy and slammed her head against the wall until he felt her muscles go slack, then twisted her around to face him. Her head lolled to the side; she blinked slowly at him, barely conscious. He reached down, picked up one of the broken table legs, and pressed the splintered end to her breast. He closed his eyes, buried his nose in her hair, and breathed in her fragrance, filling himself with it until he felt he might burst. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Her scent was the only thing left of the woman he’d loved. He wouldn’t be able to hold on to that, either.

“I’m sorry, luv,” he whispered, “I can’t let you hurt her. Not now. Not ever.”

He pulled his head back and watched her bewilderment change to disbelief and then dismay, and drove the stake home.

“I made a promise to a lady.”

Her dust floated down over his hands, tiny motes glittering with reflected sunlight. He blew them off and watched them drift silently to the floor. Then he walked over to the door and closed it, returning his crypt to darkness.

She was gone, again.




Part 1 is here.
Part 2 is here.

Tags: ,

Comments
treadingthedark From: treadingthedark Date: February 2nd, 2013 03:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Excellent heartbreaking fic. Could totally see it happening.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 2nd, 2013 05:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! So glad I finally finished it. It's been languishing on my hard drive forever.
slaymesoftly From: slaymesoftly Date: February 2nd, 2013 03:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh. My. Heartbreakingly real and sad. Well done.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 2nd, 2013 05:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I'm glad someone out there is still reading Buffy fanfic--I thought I'd totally missed the boat.
slaymesoftly From: slaymesoftly Date: February 2nd, 2013 05:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nope. No boat missage! There are still some of us clinging desperately. And new ones appear from time to time, which is heartening.
rahirah From: rahirah Date: February 3rd, 2013 12:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, wow, that was intense!
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 04:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Writing evil, soulless Buffy was an indecent amount of fun. :-)
gillo From: gillo Date: February 3rd, 2013 01:16 am (UTC) (Link)
So plausible, so very sad. Poor Spike. Poorer Dawn. How will she cope with the knowledge of this?
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 04:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Oi. You know, I hadn't really thought about that. I seem to have a thing about putting Dawn through the wringer. I had Giles murder her in another fic. Poor Dawn. Now I feel guilty!
pennydrdful From: pennydrdful Date: February 3rd, 2013 04:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Great, depressing fic! Loved the way you ended it. Using “I made a promise to a lady. was just perfect!
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 07:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
missus_grace From: missus_grace Date: February 3rd, 2013 06:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Here via rahirah's rec.

Captivatingly heartbreaking. An interesting premise, for sure, and you wrote vamp!Buffy so realistically. It brings up more questions for me about Spike and his behavior pre- and post-chip and his personality.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 07:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank so much! Vamp!Buffy was scarily easy to write. What does that say about me?
rebcake From: rebcake Date: February 3rd, 2013 08:33 am (UTC) (Link)
He looked at Buffy’s distorted face and saw another one, just as beloved and similarly misshapen, in its place; heard again the jeering, pitiless taunts in a voice that had once been tender and kind. History damn well had a way of repeating itself.

This is excellent! I find this all too plausible. Most vamps are evil, right from the start, but Spike could never abide to see his loved ones twisted that way. *sniff* Perfect symmetry, which makes me worry for Spike's state of mind over the next little while.

I also really appreciate you coming up with a workable solution to the "how" question. (Drac made me do it!) Great stuff.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 03:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! The "how" was my first idea, actually. I used to spend a lot of time driving and my mind would wander. On one of those trips, I thought "What if Dracula's blood was still in Buffy when she died and turned her?"

Even after all this time, I still find myself coming up with new fic ideas on long trips. I just haven't written any of them down.
readerjane From: readerjane Date: February 3rd, 2013 01:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ow, ow, my heart!

Yup. This could have happened.

So glad for rahirah's rec!
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much! I'm very glad for rahirah's rec too. I was afraid no one would read it!
chelseagirl From: chelseagirl Date: February 3rd, 2013 02:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Just . . . wow. Really, really well done.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 03:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Heck, I'm just pleased that you read it!
caliente_uk From: caliente_uk Date: February 3rd, 2013 04:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heartbreaking, but oh so good! Loved it. :)
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 3rd, 2013 05:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! I never expected so many nice comments. You are all so kind. <3
red_satin_doll From: red_satin_doll Date: February 4th, 2013 01:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Here from rahirah's rec - and from su_herald's link to her rec (which may explain how you got so many comments to this chap?) Also, new Buffy fan here (as in, less than a year), and this was new to me. THIS was one of the most chilling post The Gift and/or Buffy becomes a vampire fics I've read. One-setting stories can be tricky, especially more than one chapter of same) but this is perfect for it. It's like a stage set, but also clausterphobic - the reader, like Dawn and Spike, have very limited options.

The reference to Faith's line is PERFECT. I often think of those very words when watching Buffy in Smashed, etc; and my fanwank is that being inside Faith's body in WAY had lasting effects down the line (just as being inside Buffy's body affected Faith and probably is what started her on the road to redemption - very literally, when she leaves Sunnydale on the train.)

And the demon's obsession with finding and killing Dawn is really brilliant here. The only other story I've seen that in specifically is snowpuppies' "Fracture" and Buffy isn't a vampire per se; the tone and results are very different. But it makes perfect sense in this context - the writers of the show put Dawn in the place of a love interest in S5 as Buffy's focus and Buffy dies to preserve Dawn's life. So of course the demon that replaces Buffy would still obsessed with her - somewhat like Angelus' twisted obsession with Buffy. And of course that callback to After Life and Spike's accusation re: Willow knowing the possible outcome.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 4th, 2013 04:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow. You leave great feedback!! Thank you so much!

I like your fanwank about the body switching--I hadn't thought about it that way. My motivation for having Buffy go after Dawn was different than what you said, but I like what you said! I haven't written all that much, but it's always interesting to hear what others see in what I've done. Makes me feel brilliant. ;-)

I think I have to go and read "Fracture" now.
red_satin_doll From: red_satin_doll Date: February 4th, 2013 04:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're welcome! I worry I overdo it with the comments. I need to pare back. (There's a lot of stories that I don't leave feedback for because they leave me "meh", so usually when I do it's something I've really enjoyed. So much fic, so little time.)

I think I've come across one other person who already had already fanwanked that about Faith and Buffy, and it sort of surprised me that it's not more common. But I'm talking mainly about this corner of fandom (LJ), and the people I interact with tend to be Spike-centric (I'm definitely Buffy-centric, if that makes any sense to you). For that episode, which I have watched more than any other S4 ep I think, the Faith and Buffy dynamic gets overlooked, oddly enough, in favor of the Buffy-Spike or the Spike-Faith dynamics: the sexual come-on at the Bronze, when Spike doesn't know it isn't Buffy (maybe all Slayers "feel" alike to vampire senses until you've shagged one, to be vulgar about it? More likely, the writers just needed the scene to happen.) And also the fact that this is the episode where Buffy's "dark mirrors" cross paths, signaling/foreshadowing the fact that Spike is taking over that role from Faith.

My motivation for having Buffy go after Dawn was different than what you said, but I like what you said!

What was your motivation? (Or is it right there in plain sight in the story and I just need to re-read it?) I guess you were riffing off the Angelus/Spike motif in which vampires first go after all their loved ones - which actually would fit my fanwank, so I'm really curious what you had in mind.

it's always interesting to hear what others see in what I've done.

One of the first pieces of feedback I can recall was to a story I wrote in high school, and another student described things in it that they saw but I didn't, and that thrilled me to pieces. I can't remember who said this, but I read an author say once "Believe the tale and not the teller" and I still believe that. The stories have their own stories (and influences) imbedded within that the author wasn't conscious of, and we bring our own stories to them and make it partially ours; when someone reads a story, the writer no longer "owns" it entirely. Stories are meant to be shared. And I think that all "good" writing - all good creative work, actually, including dance, music, etc - does that. It's part of what explains the appeal of BtVS I think - there are spaces in it that we can fill with something of ourselves.

desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 4th, 2013 09:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
You don't need to pare back your comments! Every fic, no matter how short, represents so much time invested--I've spent days writing 100-word drabbles. Long feedback like yours is the best reward!

I lovelovelove Faith's arc in BtVS S4 and AtS S1. It is without question one of my favourite parts of the two series. Eliza Dushku was born to play that role, and everyone involved in those episodes hit a home run. I cry every time I watch them, and I have watched them a lot.

"Believe the tale and not the teller." I like that. I really haven't written all that much, and I'm not claiming any real brilliance, but I'm surprised at how much of what I have written comes from somewhere other than the conscious part of me. People, like you, point out things that I didn't know were in there. I even find things I didn't know were in there myself when I go back and read them months or years later. Curious.

I'm trying to reconstruct how I came up with this fic in order to answer your motivation question (it's been a looong time since I wrote most of it). It started as a simple "what if?": "What if Dracula's blood turned Buffy after she died in The Gift? How would Spike react to that?" At first, I thought his reaction might just be glee--he'd run off with vamp!Buffy and they'd live happily ever after (wreaking mayhem in an evil, soulless way, of course). I debated on writing that, but there's not really a story there. I imagined Buffy preying on Xander, Willow, and Giles, but I couldn't really convince myself that Spike would care about their fates very much. But he would care about Dawn--partly because of the promise he made to Buffy, but also because he genuinely cares about Dawn. So I used Dawn as a tool to show that Spike really had changed in S5. Spike's initial reactions to vamp!Buffy were "Yay, she's not dead!" and "YAYAYAY, she'll have sex with me now!!!" But because he's changed, and because his love extends to Dawn, that turns out, much to his own surprise, not to be enough. I'd intended the fic to illustrate Spike's changing inner self, his devotion to the real Buffy (and his eventual realization that vamp!Buffy is not her), and his feelings for Dawn.

But I do love your take(s) on it--Buffy's obsessing over Dawn as a continuation of her love for her in S5 and that Buffyverse vampires go after their families when they're turned. I really didn't spend much time (if any) thinking of things from those angles. So that's another example of not being consciously aware of something when writing, but seeing it (or having it pointed out to me) afterwards. So cool!

Edited at 2013-02-04 10:02 pm (UTC)
timeofchange From: timeofchange Date: February 4th, 2013 08:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
You posted new fic! Thank you! It's wonderful and intense and I love it.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 4th, 2013 08:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I did! Believe me, no one is more surprised than me. I've even been working on my other WIP. Clearly the apocalypse is nigh.

Thanks for the nice words! Great to see the little white dog again. :-)
red_satin_doll From: red_satin_doll Date: February 4th, 2013 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for the friend request, I've friended back!
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 4th, 2013 09:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just saw! And I just wrote you an answer that's even longer than your comment. :-) Best BtVS conversation I've had in years!
red_satin_doll From: red_satin_doll Date: February 4th, 2013 11:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
*attempts best willow voice* That's what I do! I just saw your nifty comments (comments are love) and will have to answer tomorrow.

spikesjojo From: spikesjojo Date: February 7th, 2013 12:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow - amazing. Loved the way you managed to use so many of Buffy's quirks, speech patterns - but even more you touched on that core of ruthlessness Buffy has as the Slayer. It's the purest tragedy for Spike - so horrific to have to realize this was a demon like his mother had been. Even worse, when , he sired his mother when he was nothing more than a fledge - now he knows more, his eyes are clear even if his heart is breaking

And Dawn - pure terror!

You know, I wonder if Dawn's blood would be special?
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: February 7th, 2013 04:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! Vamp!Buffy was a lot of fun and surprisingly easy to write. Good question about Dawn's blood. I'll have to think about that.
comlodge From: comlodge Date: March 19th, 2013 09:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just stumbled on this going through spikes_fic. I fess I am not a fan of vamped Buffy or any of the scoobies but this story is so excellent. Such a heartbreaker for Spike. A repeat of his tragic turning of his mum. Vamp Buffy is so like Angelus, single minded delight in the monstrosity of being a vampire. Her pursuit of Dawn, her reasoning ;

“I finally get why vampires go after those who were closest to them first,” And in the next sentence, the same misunderstanding of Spike that she had when alive:

"I bet you did the same thing to your family, didn’t you?” She could not have said anything better to remind Spike of his promise.

'Her scent was the only thing left of the woman he’d loved. He wouldn’t be able to hold on to that, either.' Such a very Spike thing to do and think.

Poor Spike. He sure is unique in the vampire world.
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: March 20th, 2013 12:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Ooo--unexpected nice review! Thanks so much!

'Her scent was the only thing left of the woman he’d loved. He wouldn’t be able to hold on to that, either.'

That's actually a sort-of shout-out to another one of my fics. I don't have a 'verse, and the stories don't fit together in any way, but it amuses me to reference myself. :-)
comlodge From: comlodge Date: March 20th, 2013 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Well now I am just have to go find that fic 'cos I quite liked that line:D
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: March 20th, 2013 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
The fic is Balm, and it's here: http://desoto-hia873.livejournal.com/17619.html . It was my second-ever fic, and the first of three that centred around events from The Gift. As I said, none of them are related to one another, but I stole bits and pieces of Balm for the other ones, just because it amused me. :-)
flurblewig From: flurblewig Date: March 24th, 2013 06:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG so awesome! This is one of those moments where I'm glad of my poor memory, because I got to experience this as if for the first time :) Your Vamp!Buffy was wonderful, so perfectly different, and Spike's reaction really illustrated how he's changed--it was heartbreakingly believable that he would choose his love for the real Buffy over pleasure with the vampire one.

My god, I haven't read fanfic, especially Buffy fic, in so long. It's like coming home :)
desoto_hia873 From: desoto_hia873 Date: March 26th, 2013 07:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
It had been so many years since I'd looked at it that I pretty much experienced it for the first time too. :-) I remember writing some bits of it now, but other bits might as well have been put there by someone else.

Heck, I was impressed that I remembered my password!

::smooches you::
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